How To Increase Self-Esteem

By Katie J. Brooks


Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.

It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.

This is incredibly destructive to your self-confidence, because you don't get to trust and know who you say you are and do. You say one thing, but don't deliver, and this costs you your trust in yourself and your self-confidence.High self-confident people understand the importance of keeping their word. They understand that coming from this space of integrity, where their word is law, IS the key to accessing their own power and self-confidence, and in my opinion, is also the most important habit that leads to success in life.The trick is to start making smaller promises that you know you won't let yourself or others down. Be honest with yourself. Don't say yes to something when you know you can't fit it in.

Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?Choose Positive Self Talk.The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it's no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.

And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.

Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems-a.k.a.-Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.

An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.

Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.

Here are some basic things you can do at the physical level to improve self-confidence... by modeling the image that highly self-confident people portray:Good posture - walk confidently, stand up straight and tall with shoulders back and head up, and make eye contact.Dress sharp - look presentable and smart. When you are dressed well, doesn't that instantly make you feel great and important? Get your energy up - listen to upbeat music to instantly get energy up, and exercise regularly. Not only will exercise give you energy, but also the side effect is... great physical appearance... which will also help to improve self-confidence.Be Grateful.There is no doubt that High Self-Confident people have an attitude of gratitude. I'm talking about heartfelt gratitude and not so much about forced gratitude, because... there is a difference.How do you recognize the difference between forced gratitude and heartfelt gratitude? If you've ever expressed gratitude by starting a sentence with, "At least... " you understand the meaning of forced gratitude. For example... at least I have food on the table, or... at least I have a good job, etc. We force ourselves to feel grateful, but this is coming from emptiness and it isn't a long-lasting habit, because as soon as our circumstances change, we may not feel the same.

Heartfelt gratitude is a much deeper feeling. It is a feeling of appreciation and connection with life itself, which when present, gratitude triggers positive feedback loops.This is the secret habit that high self-confidence people rely on to get access to this amazing positive mental attitude that they have.So, to improve self-confidence start the habit of being grateful.An exercise you can do everyday is to spend 5 minutes acknowledging the small things you like about yourself, things that make you feel self-confident and successful right now.You can write these down in a gratitude journal and review them weekly.

You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they'll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I've had, and I've been rejected a LOT.Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.




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